If
you're not the type to keep up with ugly, bone chilling, soul-killing social
and political controversies, let me catch you up: A while back, when the Noida
Police revealed the identity of a minor girl who was brutally gang-raped in a
moving car. It caused a national outrage. If that was not enough, the Noida Superintendent of Police cast
aspersions on the girl's character at a press conference. Besides the fact
that, by doing so, the police flagrantly violated the law of the land - section
228-A of the Indian Penal Code defines the disclosure of the identity of rape
victims as an offence punishable by up to two years of imprisonment - it also
gave a peek into the minds of the police and how they see the raped and the
rapist. A few weeks later, the Gurgaon Police outraged civil society by
proposing a blanket curfew on working women in the city after 8 pm without
prior permission from the Labor Department. This was the first reaction by the
police after the report of a brutal gang-rape of a pub employee by six men. The
police made no statement about the rapists. Later, however, the police put out
a statement asserting they had been misquoted by the media. If you really want
to feel all dead inside, you need to listen to what the other educated modern
day police were saying.
SUNIL KUMAR,
SHO, Ghaziapur, East Delhi - "Go to a pub in South Delhi. Go to Greater
Kailash where there is free entry for girls. Jinhone 1,000 rupaiye mein wo
karna hai wo wahan jati hain. Daru bhi peeti hai aur aap ke saath sex bhi karti
hai... Jis din koi thok dega rape ho jayega. (In these places you'll find girls
who want to do 'it' for Rs. 1,000. They will drink and also have sex with you.
The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape)."
ARJUN SINGH,
SHO, Surajpur Police Station, Greater Noida -
"Ladkiya ek seemit daire main, seemit kapdon main nahi niklengi...
to apne aap khichaon ho jata hai. Wo khichaon bhi aggressive kar deta hai ki
kar do bas (If girls don't stay within their boundaries, if they don't wear
appropriate clothes, then naturally there is attraction. This attraction makes
men aggressive, prompting them to just do it). Yeh (girl) itne kapde pehni hui
hai; wo isiliye taaki log mujhse akarshit ho aur mere saath kuch na kuch kare.
Isiliye ho jaati hai" (She is dressed in a manner that people get
attracted to her. In fact, she wants them to do something to her.)"
RAJPAL YADAV,
Additional SHO, Sector 29, Gurgaon -
"Yahan pe Darjeeling aur Nepal tak ki ladkiyan business purpose se
aye hai... wo jaate bhade pe hain. Baad mein paisa nahi mila to rape case bata
diya jata hai (Girls from Darjeeling and Nepal have come here for business
purposes. They go with men for money. Later, when the money is not sufficient,
it becomes a rape). Yahan log bahar se aaye hain... Filmon main dekh rahe hai.
Bilkul nangapan saa aagaya hai yahan par. Filmon ko dekh kar yeh sab ho raha
hai; nashe ki aadat pad gayi hai. Bahar se aye hue hain woh apne culture koh jo
Indian culture hai usko chhod rahe hain (People have come from outside. They
watch films and get influenced. There is complete nudity; people have taken to
alcohol. Also, outsiders, from outside NCR, have forgotten Indian culture)."
Ram Kumar
Malik, the investigating officer for the case of the girl raped by Class X
students is unrepentant. Sub-Inspector Malik pins the blame yet again on the
victim alone - "Is case (the above mentioned) mein jo real baat hai, ladki
vodka peene ki habitual hai. Usne vodka party mangi, 6,000 mein book ho gai.
Physical relation ke liye 6,000 mange. Baad mein mukadma likha diya. Yeh real
baat hai. Mere pass uske call detail ka record hai; unka purana relation hai.
(The real issue here is that the girl is a habitual vodka drinker and had asked
for a vodka party. She then demanded Rs. 6,000 for sex. When the money wasn't
paid, she registered a rape complaint. I have her call records that establish
she had a relationship with one of the accused). Is ladki ki ma ka pehle hi
divorce ho gaya. Aur wo ek Yadavji ke saath beth gayi. Uski umar 48 hai, admi
28 saal ka. Saath mein do ladkiyan. Behekna to tei ho gaya. Nahi ho gaya? (The
girl's mother is divorced. She's living with another man from the Yadav community.
She's 48 whereas the man is 28. It's inevitable the two daughters will be
wayward, isn't it?). Ab jab 48 saal ki ma, 28 saal ke purush ke saath so rahi
hai, do jawan ladkiyan dekh rahi hain, unko bhi zaroorat hogi. Sex is like
hunger," he continues. (Now when two young girls watch their 48-year-old
mother sleeping with a 28-year-old man, even they'll be aroused. Sex is like
hunger)."
Jangsher
Singh, SHO, DLF Phase-2 Police Station, who is investigating the recent rape
case of the 23-year-old pub worker - "Isme kuch nahi hai. Chote chote
bacche the... Do baar ladki ne baat ki ladkon se. Compromise karna hai toh
compromise karlo. Ladki ne khud bol diya... money toh hai hi yaar. Money ke
saath sauda kiya jaata hai (This case is nothing. They were young kids. The
girl spoke twice to the boys about striking a 'compromise'. It's all about
money. It's only with money deals are stuck). Cooperation hai. Bahut kam hai
main manta hoon; one ya two percent jisme nahi hota...consent main hi hua yeh
(The girls cooperate. I believe it's very rare that there will be no
cooperation... this case too had the girl's consent)."
Referring to
the DLF case, SHO, Jagdish Prasad -
"The girl is 27-years-old, the boys are 18 to 20-years-old. They
are kids. She was dancing with these kids in the bar... I am telling you she
induced them... the girl came and gave her phone number to them."
Satbir Singh,
Additional SHO of Sector 31 Police Station, Faridabad - "Agar koi bhi
bacche ko kisi ladki ka sha- reer kapdon ke andar se dikhega to usme uttejna
paida hogi...Ladkiya jo hai unko yahan tak yahan tak (He gestures to mean that
women should cover their entire body, then carries on speaking)... Skirt
pehenti hai. Blouse dalti hai; poora nahi dalti hai. Dupatta nahi dalti. Apne
aapko dikhawa karti hai. Baccha uske taraf akarshit hota hai (If a girl is
wearing transparent clothes it will encourage lewd thoughts in any kid. Girls
wear short skirts. They wear a blouse that leaves nothing to the imagination.
They don't wear dupattas. They flaunt their bodies. The kid naturally gets
attracted to her)."
Yogender
Singh Tomar, Additional SHO, Sector 39, Noida - "Aasaan nahi hota uske
liye. Bezzati se sabhi darti hai. Akhbaar baazi se bhi darti hai. Asliyat main
wahin aati hai jo dhande main lipt hoti hai (It's never easy for the victim.
Everyone is scared of humiliation. Everyone's wary of media and society. In
reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a
business). Upper caste toh nahi aati Upper caste ki to mukkadma hi darj nahi
hota. Aata hi nahi koi. Hota hi nahi hai. Ab hota hoga toh humaare paas nahi aa
rahe hai (Upper caste people never file rape complaints. Rape never happens
there. If it happens, it never comes to us)."
SATBIR SINGH,
Additional SHO, Sector 39, Faridabad - "One lakh. Two lakh. Fifty lakh.
Logon ko ye pata chal gaya hai ki ye achcha paisa kamaane ka dhanda hai...
business hai. Income source dhoond liya hai logon ne. Aam baat hai... kharcha
nahi hota. Money nahi hote.Gharwale kharch ke liye paise nahi dete. Wo phir
razabandi se kaam chalta hai (People have understood this is a lucrative trade
for women; it's business. They've found an income source. It's common; you're
short of money, your parents don't give you money to spend. You make compromises)."
ROOP LAL,
Sub-Inspector, Gurgaon - "Birthday ke sambandh main party do... aur woh
akeli ladki hai, un teeno ke saath jaa rahi hai, aur dekh rahi hai ki saale
daaru bhi pee rahe hai saath main. To yeh bilkul ladies ko pata hai is baat ka,
ki kya hoga. Jab wo khud hi party karne lagi hai, to wo rape nahi keh sakte.
Rape kaise kahoge? Daaru ke sang unke saath baith rahi hai... to dimag to tere
main bhi hai, jab tu chatra hai kisliye party mang rahi hai, kisliye inke saath
jaa rahi hai? (If a girl asks for a birthday party and is alone with 2-3 boys
and sees they are drinking, she knows what is likely to happen. When she
herself goes for such a party, she can't complain of rape. How can you call it
rape if she is sitting and drinking with them? You are a student and have brain
of your own. Why are you going out with them?)."
Now
if that isn't enough to convince you. Go to the front page of any mostly male
discussion site like Reddit.com and see how many inches you can browse before
finding several thousand men bemoaning how all women are gold-digging whores
(7,500 upvotes) and how crazy and irrational women are (9,659 upvotes) and how
horrible and gross and fat women are (4,000 upvotes). Or browse through
Facebook’s meme’s, which promotes, women’s place as the kitchen and one must
stay there. Or visit this page here. Before you go down
and put another stain on the already tainted administrative system of India.
You must also look into the fact that a report by UNICEF says that 57 percent of young Indian men in the 15-19 age bracket think that wife beating is justified, according to a report in The Times of India on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012.
This
current of white-hot rage has to come as a surprise to some of you, because we
tend to think "sexism" is being dismissive toward women, watching
their perfectly crafted booties and fapping about it in the men’s washroom or paying them lower salaries -- we don't
think of it as frenzied "burn the witch!" hatred. Yet occasionally
something like the dismal approach of Delhi police will come along to prick
that balloon, and out it pours. Like it's always waiting there, a millimeter
below the surface.
Why? Well,
you see...
#7. Our
culture taught us to do so
Every modern civilization has a history and this history is determined by its culture among various other factors. Culture, according to my psychology class is:
A: The integrated pattern of human behavior that includes thought, speech, action, and artifacts and depends upon the human capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations.
B: The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.
Here we’re only concerned with race,
religion and the artifact aspect of the culture. The custom of sati, dowry and
child marriage is nothing new to anyone reading this. This is something we’ve
been hearing since we were kids. And have now been seeing in a lot of
television shows too.
I have read the Manusmriti, and I found to my dismay that
the code set by Manusmriti is a lot discriminating to woman reducing them to
something like menial workers. The caste system mentioned in the Smriti is
unbelievable that it gives the feeling as though caste system had something to
do with Hinduism. How come an incarnation of Vishnu, give mankind, a set of
codes that sets a sort of discriminative rules against the weaker sex, and the
rigid caste system? For those who do not know Hinduism is derived from Manusmriti.
These are the verses from the Manusmriti.
Can someone explain why woman is portrayed in such a manner?
·
Every woman must be loyal, faithful, obedient and honorable to her
husband even if he is blind, deaf, dumb, old, physically handicapped, debauched
or, gambler and neglects his wife and lives with his concubine(s). If
the husband is unhappy, it would be the fault of his wife. If he cries,
she should cry. If he laughs she should laugh. She can only answer humbly to
his question. She should not on her own put any question. She should eat only
after her husband eats. If he is beating she should not react, but fall on his
feet and beg him to pardon her, and kiss his hands and pacify him. If the
husband dies she should burn herself to death on his funeral pyre (SATI) and go
along with him to the other world and serve him there in this manner. (Padma
Purana).
·
Women are fickle minded. Never believe them. Friendship with a
woman is just like friendship with a wolf. (Rig-Veda 8-33-7).
·
A virtuous woman is one who dies on the funeral pyre of her dead
husband and avails the privilege of serving her husband in the other world.
(Atharva Veda 18-3-1).
·
Woman is the source of sorrow. At birth she makes her mother weep.
At the time of the puberty she makes her parents weep. At the time of the
marriage she makes all her family members and relatives weep. In youth
she commits lot of blunders and brings bad name to the entire family,
relatives and Varna. She tortures the hearts of her parents, husband and other
family members. She is called 'DARIKA' because she is source of sorrow to all. (Aithareya Brahmana).
· Women are liars, corrupt, greedy, and virtuous. (Manu II 1).
·
Even for a woman, the performance of the sanskaras is necessary
and they should be performed. But they should be performed without uttering the
Veda Mantras." (Manu II. 60).
·
It is the nature of women to seduce men in this (world); the wise
are never unguarded in the company of males. (Manu II. 213).
·
For women are able to lead astray in (this) world not only a fool,
but even a learned man, and (to make) him a slave of desire and anger."
(Manu II.214).
·
One should not sit in a lonely place with one's mother, sister or
daughter, for the senses are powerful, and master even a learned man."
(Manu II. 215).
·
A Brahmin male by virtue of his birth becomes the first husband of
all women in the universe. (Manu III. 14).
·
Women not care for beauty, nor is their attention fixed on age;
(thinking); (it is though that) he is a man; they give themselves to the
handsome and to the ugly. (Manu IV. 14).
·
By a girl, by a young woman, or even by an aged one, nothing must
be done independently, even in her own house." (Manu IV. 147).
·
In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to
her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be
independent. (Manu IV. 148).
·
She must not seek to separate herself from her father, husband or
son; by leaving them. She would make them both (her own and her husband's)
family incompatible. (Manu IV. 149).
·
A Brahman must never eat food given at a sacrifice performed by a
woman. (Manu IV. 205).
·
Sacrifices performed by women are inauspicious and not acceptable
to god. They should therefore be avoided. (Manu IV. 206).
·
A girl must be under the care of her father, in youth under the
care of the husband and in old age under the care of her sons. But she should
never be free and independent. (Manu V. 148).
·
She must always be cheerful, clever in management of her household
affairs, careful in cleaning her utensils and economical in expenditure. (Manu
V. 150).
·
Him to whom her father may give her, or her brother with the
father's permission, she shall obey as long as he lives and when he is dead,
must not insult his memory. (Manu V. 151).
·
The husband who wedded her with sacred mantras is always a source
of happiness to his wife, both in season and out of season, in this world and
in the next. (Manu V1. 53).
·
Though destitute or virtuous, or seeking pleasure elsewhere, or
devoid of good qualities, yet a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god
by a faithful wife. (Manu V. 154).
·
No sacrifice, no vow, no fast must be performed by women, apart
from their husbands. If a wife obeys her husband, she will for that reason
alone be exalted in heaven. (Manu V. 155).
·
At her pleasure let her (i.e. widow) enunciate her body, by living
voluntarily on pure flowers, roots and fruits, but let her not when her lord is
deceased, even pronounce the name of another man. (Manu V. 157).
·
But a widow, who from a wish to bear children, slights her
deceased husband by marrying again, brings disgrace on herself here below, and
shall be excluded from the seat of her lord (in heaven). (Manu V. 161).
·
Responsibly the father who gives not (his daughter) in marriage at
the proper time. (Manu IX. 4).
·
A woman must always maintain her virtue and surrender her body to
her husband only, ever if she is married off to an ugly person or even a leper.
(Manu IX. 14).
·
Through their passion for men, through their mutable temper,
through their natural heartlessness, they become disloyal towards their
husbands; however, carefully they may be guarded in this (world). (Manu IX. 15).
·
Knowing their disposition, which the Lord of Creatures laid in
them at the creation, to be such, (every) man should most strenuously exert him
to guard them. (Manu IX. 16).
·
When creating them, Manu allotted to women (a love of their) bed,
(of heart) seat and (of) ornament, impure desires, wrath, dishonesty, malice,
and bad conduct. (Manu IX. 17).
·
Killing of a woman, a Shudra or an atheist is not sinful. Woman is
an embodiment of the worst desires, hatred, deceit, jealousy and bad character.
Women should never be given freedom. (Manu IX. 17 and V. 47, 147).
·
Women have no right to study the Vedas. That is why their Sanskars
are performed without Veda Mantras. Women have no knowledge of religion
because they have no right to know the Vedas. The uttering of Veda Mantras,
they are as unclean as untruth is." (Manu IX. 18).
·
All women are born of sinful wombs. (Bhagavad-Gita IX 32).
·
The husband is declared to be one with the wife, which means there
could be no separation once a woman is married. (Manu IX. 45).
·
Neither by sale nor by repudiation is a wife released from her
husband. (Manu IX. 46).
·
To a distinguished, handsome suitor of equal caste should she have
not attained (the proper age) (i.e. although she may not have reached
puberty). (Manu IX. 88).
·
A wife, a son and a slave, they three are declared to have no
property: the wealth which they earn is (acquired) for him to whom they belong.
(Manu IX. 416).
·
None of the acts of women can be taken as good and reasonable.
(Manu X.4).
·
Day and night women must be kept in dependence by males (of their
families), and, if they attach themselves to sexual enjoyments, they must
be kept under one's control. (Manu XI2).
·
Her father protects (her) in childhood, her husband protects (her)
in youth, and her sons protect (her) in old age; a woman is never fit for
independence." (Manu XI. 3).
·
Women must particularly be guarded against evil inclinations,
however trifling (they may appear); for, if they are not guarded, they will
bring sorrow on to families." (Manu XI. 5).
·
Considering that the highest duty of all castes even weak husbands
(must) scribe to guard their wives. (Manu XI. 6).
·
A woman shall not perform the daily sacrifices prescribed by the
Vedas. Then according to IX.37 if she does it, she will go to hell. (Manu XI.
36)1, 2, 3, 4 From- Casteism: The Eighth Worst Wonder by Dr. S. L. Virdi, Pages-39-43).
I’m sure each one of us reading this
has come across this or seen it occurring, some place with someone we know. For
the rest thinking that other religions fare better than the one discussed above
take some time out to read about Lilith. If you’re still not satisfied let me
give you a modern day example of another religion demeaning women.
Egypt is to soon legalize necrophilia. And fornication
is punishable by death. Meaning if you screw, you're dead & if you're dead
you're screwed.
Now
some people might want to argue that crimes against women in this religion is
punishable by death but having said that how justified is the fact that the
women here have no independence at all, they cannot indulge in polygamy as
their male counterparts and they’re only looked down upon as baby producing
machines.
#6. We Were
Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl
Well,
you have to keep in mind that what we learn as kids is really hard to deprogram
as an adult. And what we learned as kids is that we males are each owed, and
will eventually be awarded, a beautiful woman aka Sapno Ki Rajkumari.
We were told
this by every movie, TV show, novel, comic book, video game and song we
encountered. When the Karate Kid wins the tournament, his prize is a trophy and
that hot chick Elisabeth Shue. Neo saves the world and is awarded the smooth
assed Trinity. Marty McFly gets his dream girl, John McClane gets his ex-wife
back, Keanu "Speed" Reeves gets Sandra Bullock, Shia LaBeouf gets the
love of my life, Megan Fox in Transformers, Iron Man gets Pepper Potts, the
hero in Avatar gets the hottest Na'vi, Shrek gets Fiona, Bill Murray gets
Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters, Frodo gets Sam, WALL-E gets EVE ... and so on
and so forth.
Oh! Let me
not get into Bollywood movies. Here we’ve instances where the hero comes back
from the dead to reclaim his girl. Which is fuckton, batshit, epic crazy and
hilarious if you ever watch these movies from a critical viewpoint.
Then
we have Star Wars, where Luke starts out getting Princess Leia (in The Empire
Strikes Back), but then as Han Solo became a fan favorite, George Lucas
realized he had to award her to him instead (forcing him to write the
"She's secretly Luke's sister" thing into Return of the Jedi, even though
it meant adding the weird incest vibe to Empire). With Harry Potter, J.K.
Rowling played with the convention by having the beautiful girl get awarded to
the sidekick character Ron, but she made it a central conflict in the story
that Ron is constantly worried that, since Harry is the main character,
Hermione will be awarded to him instead.
In
each case, the woman has no say in this -- compatibility doesn't matter, prior
relationships don't matter, nothing else factors in. If the hero accomplishes
his goals, he is awarded his favorite female. Yes, there will be dialogue that
maybe makes it sound like the woman is having doubts, and she will make noises
like she is making the decision on her own. But we, as the audience, know that
in the end the hero will "get the girl," just as we know that at the start
of the month we're going to "get our paycheck." Failure to award
either is breaking a societal contract. The girl can say what she wants, but we
all know that at the end, she will wind up with the hero, whether she knows it
or not.
Now you see the problem. From birth we're
taught that we're owed a beautiful girl. We all think of ourselves as the hero
of our own story, and we all (whether we admit it or not) think we're heroes
for just getting through our day. I’ve thought of myself to be Goku, Peter,
Bruce to name a few.
So it's very
frustrating, and I mean frustrating to the point of violence, when we don't get
what we're owed. A contract has been broken. These women, by exercising their
own choices, are denying it to us. It's why every Nice Guy is shocked to find
that buying gifts for a girl and doing her favors won't win him sex. It's why
we go to "slut" and "whore" as our default insults -- we're
not mad that women enjoy sex. We're mad that women are distributing to other
people the sex that they owed us.
Yes, the
women in these stories are being portrayed as wonderful and beautiful and
perfect. But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing
them, and by idolizing them.
Which brings
us to the next problem...
#5. We're trained
from Birth to See You as Decoration
I'm
not saying there's anything wrong with putting a pretty girl on the cover of a
magazine or posing her next to a shiny new car. The pretty girl gets a good
job, men want her, women want to be her, everybody is happy. Right?
The problem is that it goes way deeper
than that.
From
my experience, if there is a fundamental difference between male and female
sexuality, it's this: There are actual occasions where women aren't thinking
about sex. Frankly speaking how many females can we recall, without the use of
Google, who’ve some position of power in the respective field of expertise.
1…2…3 at max may be? How many of us remember Hina Rabbani Khar? All of us
remember her, don’t we? How many of us actually remember her position/designation
(not the women on top, I mean) in her country? Not many I’m sure of it.
So
the undermining logic here is that we remember her because of her beauty and
not because of the fact that she was the then foreign minister of Pakistan. See
our first instinct is still to judge women on her suitability as a sex partner.
It's the first thing we notice (boobs and ass). And you could just write that
off as a bunch of douches being shallow, but then you have to realize how all
of society has conformed to this. Forget about objectification in the media or
fashion industry -- go to a diner, they've got the pretty girl waiting tables.
Go to a department store, they'll have a pretty girl selling you pants.
In
case there are still doubts left about this try to recall and compare how much
you remember about Indra Nooyi, Chandra Kochhar, Kalpana Chawla and Kiran Bedi
as opposed to Anushka Sharma, Angelina Jolie, Catherine Zeta Jones, Sania Mirza
and so on…
See,
that's the difference. With men, there are some scenarios where it stops
mattering how he looks. With women, it always matters. In a comedy movie, the
male wacky sidekick can be the chubby Zach Galifianakis from Hangover or the
nearly deformed Steve Buscemi. But if the female wacky sidekick isn't
attractive, like the overweight Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids, then every
scene needs to be about how ugly and fat and mannish she is. That has to be the
core of her character.
Her
role in society or level of accomplishment doesn't matter. Even if she's a
foreign minister, the female always has a dual role: to function as a person,
and to act as décor.
And
we get pissed if she doesn't do her job. She owes it to us to be pretty. That's
the social contract as we've understood it from the time we were toddlers.
And it's a
no-win situation. We hate you if you're ugly; if you're pretty, then...we’ll
fap about you or fuck you.
#4. We Think
You're Conspiring with Our Boners to Ruin Us
First,
you need to understand something about the unique love/hate relationship men
have with their penises. The relation is to such an extent that they won't shy naming their horses and having weird conversations with it in their subconscious. I love my willy the most and I’m sure any other guy if
asked the same in person would say the same. Unless it’s Justin Beiber. Oh!
Wait is Justin a guy, girl or a girl/guy? Someone please clear the confusion. Similarly, the first thing the guy looks at and adores when he wakes up in the morning is his manhood. If you're still not satisfied Google search for " Dear Penis - Rodney Carrington."
How
many times have you come across stories of people fapping in
school/college/workplace? A lot of times I’m sure and they all have something
in common: They're all guys.
Seriously,
do a Google search for "masturbating in public." Notice something in
common with all of those stories? They're all dudes. Obviously I'm not saying
women don't pleasure themselves (every single study would prove me a liar); I'm
saying that men are far, far more likely to engage in extremely high-risk
masturbation in public. They're more likely to do it at work, and they're more
likely to do it in situations where they could go to jail or face public
humiliation. No, it's not some rare, weird exhibitionist fetish, either. It's
that they can't even wait the couple of hours it'd take to do it safely at
home.
It's why I refer to my nosy, noisy and
unhygienic neighbors as “LUND”
It
makes absolutely no sense. All calculation of risk goes out the window. Why? It's because, in males more so than females, the sex drive is completely detached
from the rest of the personality. The part of the male brain that worries about
job security or money or social reputation or legal consequences has almost no
veto power over the sex drive. You've heard guys say they were "thinking
with their dick" or "I was thinking with the little brain" or
"I took an order from Captain Boner." That's what they're referring
to.
Science
doesn't seem to totally understand why the "base urges" part of the
brain reacts differently in men. Maybe it's just a matter of having 10 times as
much testosterone in their system, or maybe society has trained us to be like
this, or maybe we're all spoiled children. My theory is that evolution needs
males who will stay horny even in times of crisis or distress, and thus cuts
off the brain's ability to tamp down those urges. Whatever -- nailing down the
cause isn't the point. The point is that a man can be giving the condolence
speech at his own grandmother's funeral, and if there is a girl in the front
row showing cleavage, he will be imagining himself pressing those boobs in his
face, with his own dead grandmother not five feet away.
When
that happens, when we get that boner at the funeral, we get mad at the girl
showing the cleavage. Because we, ourselves, our own rational personality that
knows right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate, know this is a bad
place to get a boner. So it comes off like cleavage girl is conspiring with our
penis to screw us over.
Is
that a crazy thing to think? Yep! That's why it's so frustrating, especially if
you don't have a whole lot of emotional maturity, and grew up with male role
models who had even less.
No, this
doesn't excuse anything. Obviously, "She was asking for it!" is still
a bullshit rape defense. All I'm saying is when you see guys actually get
annoyed or angry at the sight of a girl showing too much skin, or if you see
them eager to degrade or humiliate the girls at the pub, this is why. It's
probably why some Muslims make their women cover themselves head to toe.
And in the Bible, it is Eve who tempts
Adam to sin ... by conspiring with a snake.
Every male
reading this is going to think I'm belaboring the obvious (after all, the world
is full of comedy bits about how hot girls are almost demonic in their ability
to control males against their will). But I have never explained this to a
woman who didn't look at me like I was insisting that all men are secretly
werewolves.
But even this
isn't the thing that makes us angriest...
#3. We Feel like
Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point
You
know how every comedy has that stock character of the womanizing, amoral guy
who just says what he thinks all the time, and cares only about him? Joey in
Friends, Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men, Jim Carrey in Mask, Adam Sandler
in 50 First Dates, James Bond in the Bond series, Stiffler in American Pie,
Ranveer Singh in Ladies vs Ricky Bahl.
Guys love
that character because he's doing what, on some level, we all wish we could do.
It's also why you have all of these ad campaigns desperately appealing to males
who fear that they've lost their masculinity ("If you use a competitor's
product, we're going to have to take away your Man Card!")
See,
every single male can remember the first time, when he was 5 or 6 years old, he
showed his penis to a stranger and everybody started freaking the hell out. He
can remember the first time he got in trouble for hitting somebody, for peeing
in public, for trying to jump off some high object or set something on fire. The
entire core male urges, all the suggestions whispered to us by Darth Penis, all
of it gets us in trouble.
And, when we
get nostalgic for the past, we always dress it up in some ridiculous fantasy
like 300, where everybody is shirtless and screaming and hacking things with
swords. We are fed this idea that at one time, this is how the world was -- all
of these impulses that have been getting us grounded and sent to detention from
kindergarten on used to be not only allowed, but celebrated.
And then at some point, women took it
all away.
A
once-great world of heroes and strength and warriors and cigars and crude jokes
has been replaced by this world of grumpy female supervisors looming over our
cubicle to hand us a warning letter/memo about sending off-color jokes via
email/sms/WhatsApp. Yes, that entire narrative is a grossly skewed and
self-serving version of how society actually evolved. It doesn't matter.
The result is
a combination of frustration and humiliation and powerlessness that makes us
want to get it back in the only way we know how: with petty, immature acts of
meanness.
#2. We Feel
Powerless
I
don't know what it's like to be a woman. I haven't been one in a long time. So
as a result, it's not easy for me to describe what it's like to be a man,
because I don't know what you're using for context. I'm going to do my best:
Did you ever
watch old cartoons where a character is starving on a desert island, and when
another character approaches, he's so hungry that he imagines the other
character as a talking piece of food?
Here is an example to prove that men think of sex all the time. Here is what a friend of my mine messaged me:
"Three reasons, why men love oral sex
1. At last she is on her knees.
2. The tongue is finally moving for a good cause.
3. Five minutes of silence.
The bottom line here is sex for men is more physical and more of a pride satisfy-er as opposed to emotional and a sense of completion in women. Even in the above example it is evident that this guy here loves oral sex only because it shut's up her women.
It's
like that for most men, most of the time. We're starving, and all women are
various types of food. Only instead of food, it's sex. And we're trying to
conduct our everyday business around the fact that we're trying to renew our
driver's license with a talking pair of boobs. So, from about age 13 on, around
90 percent of our energy and discipline is devoted to overcoming this, to
behave like civilized human beings and not like stray dogs in a meat market.
One where instead of eating the meat, they want to hump it.
When a male
thinks or talks about a female, he assumes that she spends every moment
thinking about the size of her breasts and what they are doing. He assumes that
women are thinking of themselves the same way we think of them.
Do you see
what I'm getting at? Go look outside. See those cars driving by? Every car
being driven by a man was designed and built and bought and sold with you in
mind. The only reason why small, fuel-efficient or electric cars don't dominate
the roads is because we want to look cool in our cars, to impress you.
Go look at a
city skyline. All those skyscrapers? We built those to impress you, too. All
those sports you see on TV? All of those guys learned to play purely because in
school, playing sports gets you laid. All the music you hear on the radio? All
of those guys learned to sing and play guitar because as a teenager, they
figured out that absolutely nothing gets women out of their pants faster. It's
the same reason all of the actors got into acting. It’s the same reason why every
child wants to be taller, stronger and sharper…to impress a female and get laid
with her.
All those
wars we fight? Sure, at the upper levels, in the halls of political power, they
have some complicated reasons for wanting some piece of land or access to some
resource (more on this in the next article). But on the ground? Well, let me
ask you this -- historically, when an army takes over a city, what happens to
the women there?
It's all
about you. All of it. All of civilization.
So
where you see a world in which males dominate the boards of the Fortune 500,
and own Congress, and sit at the head of all but a handful of the world's
nations, men see themselves as utterly helpless. Because all of those powerful
people only became powerful because they heard that women like power. This is
really the heart of it, right here. This is why no amount of male domination
will ever be enough, why no level of control or privilege or female submission
will ever satisfy us. We can put you under a burqa, we can force you out of the
workplace -- it won't matter. You're still all we think about, and that gives
you power over us. And we resent you for it.
All of the
most bitter disputes work like this, by the way: Both sides think they're the powerless
party. It's why tipping servers is such a bitter topic among some people -- the
server feels like the customer has all of the power (because their entire
income comes from tips), and the customer feels like the server has all the
power (because they can deny them food and drink and ruin their one night out).
It's why the richest people in the world can talk like they're besieged
victims, and mean it. It's why the male leaders of the most powerful and
richest church in the world can talk like they're being made martyrs due to
women asking for birth control. And mean it.
But that’s
not the end of it.
#1. We've been Misunderstood a Lot Too
Keeping aside the things mentioned
up above. There are some odd exceptions as I’ve come across. Also If I didn’t
mention this I’d be having a lot of guys searching for me trying to get rid of
me for provoking whatever remaining women they have in their lives.
I know a guy, quite personally.
He happens to be the every other day guy from the neighborhood with a sky and
reclusive personality. Now because of his reclusive nature he would not be
expressing much about himself to anyone. Now every now and then I would find
this guy expressing himself through some or the other physical gestures (.l..
..l.) or cues. This included hugging and cuddling (No, he never cuddled to me.
Neither of us are gay). This (hugging and cuddling) unfortunately is termed as
a sexual behavior in this case. He also got branded as an attention seeker too.
So, how many times have you felt to actually steal the cookie from the jar and
giving a big fuck you to the people who always falsely accused you of stealing
it when you actually didn’t steal it? Coming back to the interview excerpts of Delhi police. I'm sure everyone reading that has developed a bias against them. Then again we have an exception of RK Sisodia, Additional SHO of Sector 20 Noida Police Station, who had an entirely different opinion on the authenticity of rape cases. He was the only one to say that very few rape cases in NCR are false or questionable in nature. But then again, like the society ever
bothered about such rare cases. All we’re concerned about is the masses. But
then, how many of us actually realize that the masses are asses. This once again brings us back to one conclusion and to square one that:
GIRLS MUST
READ & BOYS MUST KNOW:
¤ If you've have curves, you’re fat.
¤ If you
don't then you’re flat.
¤ If you wear
makeup, you’re fake..!
¤ If you don’t,
then you’re a behenji/geek.
¤ If you
dress up, you’re a Show off..!
¤ If you don’t
bother, you’re a villager..!
¤ If you say
what you think, you’re a bitch.
¤ If you say
nothing, you have 'attitude problem'.
¤ If you cry
sometimes, you’re a DRAMA QUEEN..!
¤ If you don’t, you’re emotionless..!
¤ If you’ve
have guy friends, you’re a Slut..!
¤ If you don’t,
you’re narrow minded..!
¤ If you stand
up for myself, you’re mouthy.
It’s like you
can't do anything these days without being labeled or branded.
